Eidolons
by Necchan
Summary: AU. Shounen-ai. "What if despite his heart disease Saito had NOT died and be turned into Rockman? Would he still have fallen in love with Blues, even if he was a human, and the other a Navi? And would this feeling flourish, or be destined to wither?"
1. Chapter 1 of 5

**Title: **Eidolons.

**Author:** Nemesi.

**Fandom:** (MMBN)

**Genre: **Romance. Angst. Tragedy.

**Word Count: **_Chapter:_2.239_ Whole fic:_ 13.934 circa (undertaking revisions).

**Characters: **Saito Hikari/Rockman,Hikari Netto, Hikari Yuuichiro, Blues, Ijiuin Enzan. Others mentioned.

**Rating:** PG-13.

**Disclaimer:** , its characters, places and themes belong to Capcom, Shogakukan, ShoPro, TV Tokio, etc. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Warnings:** AU. Shounen-ai.

**A/N:** I've been plagued by this idea for a while now. And I've fallen rather hard for this AU.

**Summary: **What if despite his heart disease Saito had _not_ died and be turned into Rockman? Would he still have fallen in love with Blues, and Blues with him, even if one was a human, and the other a _Navi_…?

* * * * *

_A recurring dream:_

_**H**__e is running through purple-tinged shadows, a little boy with pale, pale skin and huge, huge eyes. He is running with his chubby little hand stretched before him, as if he was trying to grab at something and pull it back to himself. There are small pinpricks of lights all around him which aren't stars and aren't eyes either, but small glowing _something_, those same chains of 0 1 0 1 0 1 he sees cascading across his father's laptop when he works at home, and they are humming quietly, those chains, singing his name, calling him, Saito-chan, _Saito-chan_._

_There's nothing in front of him, or to his sides. Wherever he turns, there's just darkness, sprinkled with colour-shifting dots. He would call out for Mama, or for Papa, or for his brother, but he thinks that if he were to call out, he'd make no sound, which would scare him; and he doesn't _want_ to be scared, not here, not now, not when there's _no need _for fear._

_He is in a hurry, rushing towards something: something hazy and bright, that flashes prettily there on the line of the horizon, something blue, like water and sky, a pulsing light that seems to resonate and echo like a low chorus, calling and beckoning in sweet humming tones. _

_There's also something else waiting for him beyond the flash of blue: something red like roses and silver like moonlight, something that's waiting patiently, sighing and bemoaning his absence, and Saito is _trying_ to go there, he really is, but it's taking time, and he seems to be going nowhere, and then Papa is calling for him all of a sudden, and he can hear Mama crying too, and Netto, Netto is clinging to his hand saying "Saito-niisan, Saito-niisan!" over and over, and the pretty moonlight is fading away, the roses are wilting near the blue waterfall, and the little boy is opening his eyes to a white hospital room, his hand outstretched still, and Papa calls again, and Mama cries harder, but with relief now, just like when their Gow, their doggy, got hit by a car and got up from the bushes without even a scratch. _

_Netto smiles and clings to him, all red cheeks and huge wet eyes, curling against his side like a big cuddly cat, but the purring Saito can hear is that of machineries, tall, lumpy monster that are attached to him with rubbery tentacles and sharp needles, and the man with the white coat is saying it's a Miracle, a _Miracle_, and Saito feels like crying, and just like that hot, fat droplets start running down his round, round cheeks, and he cries for the place he should've reached but has been brought back from, cries for the roses and the waterfall, and it is crying that he wakes up from this dream, which isn't a dream at all, but a memory of the first time his heart disease almost killed him._

* * * * *

"**H**urry up, Netto! We're going to miss the train!"

"I'm coming! _Coming_!"

There was a crash, a mumble, and then a vaguely Netto-shaped cyclone barrelled downstairs, a toothbrush poking from his mouth, and flung himself in the kitchen. He grabbed a toast from his (amused) mother's hand, tried to take a bite, noticed the toothbrush, removed it from his mouth, then shoved the toast, _whole_, in its place, promptly chocked on it, pounded vigorously on his chest to avoid suffocation, and sat down to fasten his skateboards. All of this under the reproachful gaze of Saito.

"Honestly, Netto. _You _are the one who offered to come with me to my check-up, and now you can't even wake up in time?"

Netto glared at him over his shoulder.

"I did wake up in time," he assured, to which his twin retaliated:

"And fell back asleep three seconds later."

"Did not."

"You did, and you know it."

"It was a whole three _minutes_," Netto countered, grinning unrepentantly. "Cheer up, Rock-nii! We aren't going to miss the train!"

"If we suddenly sprouted wings, maybe."

"Aw, we've still got plenty of time, and you know it!"

"If twenty minutes is your definition of plenty, then yes, we do."

"You worry too much."

"And you too little."

"Worrywart."

"And you are a sleepyhead."

"A sleepyhead, but still on time."

Saito narrowed his eyes, then bent down to gently swipe some crumbles from the corner of his brother's mouth.

"Netto, you should learn to be more responsible. It's not like we can _walk_ all the way to Sci-Lab, if we miss the train. We'll have to wait for the next one."

"And it's not like Papa won't postpone the check-up of an hour or two if we're late, right?"

"That's exactly it, Netto. We can't expect Papa and his colleagues to be at our beck and call. They are making me a kindness, and I _ought_ to show up in time. Please?"

Netto looked sheepish at that.

"I know, Rock-nii. And I promise we won't miss the train. Scout's honour." Netto got to his feet, experimentally kicked the heel of his rollerblades against the floorboard. Saito shook his head in a hopeless fashion.

"You've never been a scout, Netto. And stop calling me _that_!"

"What? It's cute!" He gave his brother an affectionate noogie. "You _are _my rock, Saito-nii! Nothing takes you down!" he rubbed his fist harder against his brother's head, delighting in the annoyed sounds he was making.

Their mother was watching them, smiling in fond exasperation at their antics.

"Netto, don't tease your brother," she had brandished a cookie, and was waving it admonishingly at her son. Netto countered with a huge grin and gave her a thumb up, arm firmly wrapped about his brother's neck.

"It's all in good fun, mom."

She hummed a reply, then checked the time on her wristwatch.

"Saito had a point, anyway. You'd better get going." She advised, sounding a little worried. Saito _really_ couldn't afford the luxury to walk all the way to Sci-Lab; his heart wouldn't take kindly to such an exertion. She pushed herself out of the chair, and went to put her mug in the sink. "Could you bring your father his lunch? He forgot it _again_…"

"Sure thing, mom." Saito disentangled himself from his twin, and went to collect the blue lunchbox on the countertop before his mother could say another word. He took a water bottle, a few napkins, added an apple, and stacked everything carefully in a paper bag, testing that it could hold the weight before marching back to where Netto stood in wait, pushing his lips this way and that, rocking on his heels, and generally looking like _he_ had been waiting all morning, while _Saito_ had slept in.

A brief commotion followed, in which Netto vehemently protested as Saito insisted he put on a jacket, and then the twins made it out of the house and to the curb. From there, Netto bounced and waved at their mother like a drowning man. Saito smiled sweetly and wriggled his fingers at her. Haruka blew them both a kiss, head tilted as she watched them go.

The boys stopped to holler the usual greeting at their childhood friend Meiru, gave a wave to the Chip-Store's owner, and then skipped off at a moderately quick gait. It was always like that for them – Netto's exuberance wouldn't let them _walk_ like normal people, but Saito's weak heart forbade them to _run_ like youngsters are wont to do.

And so jogging they went, at a pace that would let them reach the station in time, without putting too much strain on Saito's weak heart.

**T**he rest of their journey was uneventful, but far from boring. Netto would look at everything, point at everything, touch everything, comment on everything _and_ everyone, which caused Saito to chuckle half of the time, and people to scowl crossly at them the other half. When the latter occurred, the boys would flash their patented Twin Smiles, or resort to Netto's Puppy Dog Look of Doom if the situation called for it, and be forgiven (or have the person join the fun in a case or two).

Saito clutched his chest after a particularly lengthy laugh they had, gasping open-mouthed for breath, and felt a bead of icy sweat run down from his temple all the way to his neckline. Netto squeezed his hand encouragingly when it happened, with that kind of patience that comes only with years of experience, and said nothing.

His lack of concern was only apparent – Saito was the person he loved most along with his parents, and his pain was like a thorn in Netto's heart – but acting unworried convinced the other passengers not to crowd around the boy, something that would do Saito more damage than good.

There weren't other episodes for the rest of the journey; and once they arrived at their destination, Saito managed to reach the top of the stairs without pausing or swaying once. Netto congratulated his twin with a thumb-up, which Saito answered with that adorable, heads-tilted-sideways smile that was so typical of him. Then the glass doors slid open noiselessly before them, and they slinked in the cool shadow of Sci-Labs.

Dozens of familiar faces turned in their direction; a shower of greetings welcomed them almost at once. Netto brightened, loving the attention. He began to skate around, administering grins and chirping a greeting or a question to each person he knew.

Saito's reaction was much less exuberant than his brother's, and all the more endearing. He bowed politely to each of the employees, hands clasped before him, shining his best smile at them.

It took them quite sometime, but in the end the twins managed to reach the other end of the Hall. They had just taken a corridor, when a woman in her thirties emerged from a door in the back and beelined over.

She was tall, her hair dark and short, with pale skin and a noble arch to her nose. She was carrying a clipboard, on which she was taking careful notes with a ball pen. There was a plastic card clipped to her labcoat, with her picture and her name signed in a neat, clean handwriting: _Shigure Honto_.

The scientist (for such she was) was pretty by any standard, but it was her smile that turned her into something to gawk at. Her eyes crinkled charmingly and gained a twinkle, and her whole face seemed to light up from within.

Netto and Saito crowded around that smile like it was a magnet, and puffed out their chests for the woman to stick on the "Guest" temporary passes.

"Netto-kun, Saito-kun," she greeted softly. Her voice was rough with smoking, but still nice to hear. "Welcome to Sci-Lab. I trust I don't have to explain the rules to you?"

Netto grinned cheekily at her.

"No touchy, no breaky," he said. Saito elbowed him, discreetly, in the side; but Shigure laughed.

"That just about sums it up, yes." She replaced her pen in the pocket of her coat, then peered curiously at Saito over the rim of her glasses. "Say, Saito-kun: isn't it a little early for your check-up? I thought you had them monthly?"

Saito shrugged. While one of the best cardiologists available _was_ in charge of his case since he was three, his father also insisted he had regular check-ups with him at Sci-Lab.

At first, Saito had been too young to wonder why a scientist would do a physician's work. But as he grew up, he became way too accustomed to the routine to question it.

Besides, the whole issue reduced to nothing more than this in his eyes: his father _was_ a doctor, and his disease _was_ serious. It only made sense that Yuuichiro wanted to monitor his son's condition personally.

"I do," he confirmed. "But Papa insisted I came today, I'm not sure why."

Shigure furrowed her eyebrows in though, then her forehead cleared with sudden understanding.

"He probably wanted you to see the new PET we've been developing with Enzan-kun's help." Saito blinked. Netto blushed (though he'll deny it, but there are many a witness who will confirm it), and squirmed about. "I heard you've been getting into Net-battling lately, Netto-kun?" she added as though to confirm her theory.

"…kinda, Shigure."

"Shigure_-san_," Saito corrected, with the ease born of practice.

Shigure tapped her lips thoughtfully.

"In that case you _can't_ miss the chance to see this new PET. Well, I guess you _could_ get a sneak-peek while Saito has his check-up… provided that you abide to my rules. What do you say, Netto-kun?"

Netto tried – for his brother's sake more than his own – to contain his reaction, and not squeal out _too loud_ at the prospect. It didn't seem fair that he got to see the cool things and have fun, while Saito had to sit down for a boring check-up. It really wasn't. Not in his eyes, anyway.

But Saito _wanted_ his brother to have fun, especially since he knew much too well how long his check-ups could take.

He gently nudged Netto towards Shigure, giving him a smile and a nod. His twin brightened at this wordless blessing, and departed with a brief hug and a promise to "tell him everything afterwards".

Saito watched him skip off down the stairs, then trudged, very slowly, towards the elevator.

* * * * *

…so… am I the only one who got stuck on the notion of Blues and Saito/Rockman playing the part of the tragic lovers living in different dimensions (the real one and the digital/cybernetic one)?


	2. Chapter 2 of 5

**Title: **Eidolons.

**Author:** Nemesi.

**Fandom:** (MMBN)

**Genre: **Romance. Angst. Tragedy.

**Word Count: **_Chapter:_2.825_ Whole fic:_ 13.934 circa (undertaking revisions).

**Characters: **Saito Hikari/Rockman,Hikari Netto, Hikari Yuuichiro, Blues, Ijiuin Enzan. Others mentioned.

**Rating:** PG-13.

**Disclaimer:** , its characters, places and themes belong to Capcom, Shogakukan, ShoPro, TV Tokio, etc. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Warnings:** AU. Shounen-ai.

**A/N:** I've been plagued by this idea for a while now. And I've fallen rather hard for this AU.

**Summary: **What if despite his heart disease Saito had _not_ died and be turned into Rockman? Would he still have fallen in love with Blues, and Blues with him, even if one was a human, and the other a _Navi_…?

* * * * *

_A journal excerpt:_

…_**i**__t's not like I don't _want_ to get better; I do. I want to run about, to make sports. I want to be able to sit in the sun for more than a measly thirty minutes before swaying. I want to _live_, like other people my age do. I want to get on a roller-coaster, I want to run the three-legged marathon with Dad at the school's Festival; I want to fly a kite, explore the ruins on the other edge of the park and swim in the lake's chilling waters when it's March and my classmates dare each other to go skinny dipping. I want to be able to skate after the school bus when Netto and I miss it in the morning, and get drenched on my way back home, because it's pouring and I forgot my umbrella, and running wouldn't cause any more damage than make me short of breath._

_I want to get better. I really do._

_But there are times when I wonder if that shiny dark place I see in my dreams isn't where I was supposed to be; and if bringing me back wasn't a mistake. I wonder if I _should_ be alive in the first place, when living means sitting in a glass dome, with my face and palms pressed to the fogging glass, watching the rest of the world go about its business and leave me behind. _

_It's… _complicated_. I don't want to _die_. But I want to _live_. A real life, not the half-thing I'm stuck with now._

_In truth, there _are_ times when I really, truly feel alive. And the funny things is: they feel a lot like _death_._

_My heart is capricious; the merest thing will make it lurch into a gallop, or clam up like a resentful child. But there are times – the most terrible and pleasurable at once – when my heart starts skipping, and pounding, and cartwheeling, beating against my ribcage as though trying to get out, and then stuttering and swooning and _drowning_ back into place, going soft as candy, and they have got nothing to do with disease._

Nothing_._

_And I live for those moments when I feel I'm about to die, because they only come about when _he_ is with me._

* * * * *

**H**e'd spent so much time in his father's lab, it'd become as familiar to him as his own room.

All those machineries – the huge monitors, the beeping consoles, the looming hard-drives, the multitude of cables coiling across the room like snakes or ribbons, the harsh, sterile light and greying walls, the copper-burn ozone smell, mixed with the acrid tang of disinfectant – everything in the room should've worked to instil a sense of uneasiness inside Saito.

But it wasn't like that.

In the cool cocoon of Yuuichiro's lab Saito felt safe, oddly peaceful. He stood unashamed before the scanning machine, clad in nothing but his underwear. There were skin electrodes attached to his chest and wrists to record his heartbeat and temperature, and four more had been applied to his temples and sides of his neck. A needle had been stuck in back of his hand to check his blood's chemical balance.

The soles of his feet, bare against the tiled floor, felt like ice. His legs were going numb for having to stand still for so long, but Saito didn't show any outward sign of discomfort, or impatience. Every now and then he would glance about, then catch himself and go back to perfect stillness.

Yuuichiro appreciated the effort – with such sensitive machineries, even the slightest change of posture might cause a false reading – and gave his son a comforting smile, which was mirrored.

"You're doing good, Saito-chan," he offered gently.

He turned to type something very quickly on his laptop, then switched monitors. Saito shifted his weight from one leg to the other, and felt a chill run up from the base to his feet all the way up to his head, making the fine hair on his nape stand at attention.

"Cold?" Yuuichiro asked.

"A little. But it's not that bad, really."

"Hold on for a little longer… we're almost done."

Which was true. A couple of minutes later, Saito was freed from sensors and needle, and immediately reached for his jacket. He wrapped it around his shoulders and climbed on the examination table, sitting with his knees up and his chin tucked between them, trying to warm up.

Yuuichiro produced the apple from his lunch bag, and offered it to Saito. The boy sank his teeth in the juicy pulp, feeling his mouth and the inside of his wrist get sticky with moistness, and watched as his father compared notes on two different monitors.

"Nee, Saito-kun?"

"Yes, Papa?"

"Has your cardiologist…"

"…heard from his colleague in Ameroupe?" Saito finished for him. "Yes, but it seems that new drug they're testing won't work for me, so he didn't sign me up in the project."

Yuuichiro stilled. He took off his glasses with a weariness that looked wrong and moving in someone so young, and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"And he still thinks that hospitalizing you won't do any good?"

"He says…" Saito trailed off. "…Gokuraku-hakase says that there's no reason I should live my life hooked up like a puppet on its strings, and drugged stupid," he finished after a while. "Not when there's _no cure._"

Yuuichiro nodded, a little too briskly. His lips tightened in a line, and a look of determination stole by his dark eyes.

"Saito, I promise you: no matter how hopeless it looks, I will…"

A knock at the door interrupted him.

"Hikari-hakase?" someone called from outside. Then, louder: "_Hikari-hakase?"_

Yuuichiro exhaled shakily. He put his glasses back on, and on also came his smile, pale and tired as it was. As Saito stepped behind a folding screen, Yuuichiro invited his assistant in.

The door slid open to reveal a young man, fresh from college, with pale yellow hair tied back in a messy ponytail and a fine line of stubble on his chin.

"I'm sorry to intrude, Hikari-hakase, but you asked to be notified as soon as test DA-153 was complete…" he trailed off, offering a shrug. Yuuichiro lit up considerably at the news, and gestured for his assistant to hand him the report.

Three long strides of his lanky, slender legs carried the young man in front of Yuuichiro's desk. He produced a data-disk from his coat's pocket, then handed it and a clipboard to his superior. Yuuichiro scanned the notes through, then dismissed his assistant.

The young man was almost at the door when Yuuichiro called after him, almost as an afterthought:

"Could you send in the test-subject? I'd like to check on him."

The assistant looked dubious. He sent a glance at Saito, who had just finished dressing and was reclaiming his place on the examination table, then looked back at his superior.

"You never mentioned a…"

"A mere precaution, I assure you." Yuuichiro flashed the young man a disarming smile. "We're testing a new technology; it only makes sense to check it had no malicious after-effect on the subject."

His assistant looked dubious still, but his head moved in an hesitant nod.

"I… _guess_. But I'm not sure the Op will…"

"He will. Don't worry. Just send the test subject in."

Another patented Hikari smile later, the assistant was off to do his bidding. Saito blinked questioningly at his father.

"Papa? Should I take my leave now?"

The smirk Yuuichiro sent his way _should_ have been enough of a warning that his father Was Scheming Something. It wasn't.

"Don't bother, Saito. I'm sure the DA test subject won't have anything to object to your presence here."

"They _won't_?" Cautiously now, because not even Saito could miss that odd glint in his father's eyes.

"I'm positive."

"And who exactly is…"

"You called for me, Hikari-Hakase?"

Saito's face went so red, so quick, and his eyes grew so huge, so fast it would've looked funny, if it wasn't so damn _cute_. Yuuichiro turned in his swivel chair so that he was facing the PC to his left.

"Indeed I have," he confirmed with real warmth in his voice. "Please, log in the main processor."

The huge monitor behind Yuuichiro flickered to life as the Navi pixelated into view. He wore his customary helmet with the heavy shades covering half his face, but it was easy to tell he wasn't completely at ease. He was either weary and drained after the experiment, or in a hurry to go back to IPC before the President, Shuuseki Ijuin, started to yell for his and Enzan's prolonged absence.

"Ah, that's better. Thank you Blues. Now, I'd like to run a few diagnostics, if you don't mind. It's just a precaution, but one I feel we should take."

Blues wavered for a moment, then acquiesced, albeit warily. Yuuichiro turned his attention back to his keyboard, waving a hand in the general direction of the examination table.

"You two find a way to pass the time - I won't be long."

Blues gave a curt nod, then glanced with mild curiosity in the direction Yuuichiro had gestured at, wondering who else was in the room.

He found Saito peering at him through his long lashes, eyes huge, a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks. He was sitting on his hands on the examination table, legs hanging from the edge. His feet were naked still, and looked shell-white and almost threadbare under the harsh neon light, toes wriggling nervously about.

When he spoke, his voice was soft, almost breathy, vibrating with a joyful emotion.

"Hello, Buruusu."

Blues's whole demeanour melted on the spot. His shoulders unwound from their tense stance, and a smile blossomed on his mouth like sunshine.

"Saito," he acknowledged gently, and his voice carried the same pleased expectance as Saito's own.

Saito smiled back at him, a smile that lit up his whole face. He bit his bottom lip to try and contain his reaction, then rearranged himself shyly on the table. His heart was pounding, a low beat echoing in his ears. He could only hope his blush wasn't as evident as it felt.

"I haven't seen much of you, lately," he said softly. _I missed you._

Blues seemed to catch on the unspoken words, and his voice was faintly apologizing when he replied: "We've been very busy with missions. We caught wind of a new criminal organization on the rise, and had to investigate every possible route."

Saito shifted towards him.

"You had to go to the… _Undernet_?" his voice was hushed when he spoke of the forbidden server.

Blues nodded.

"Among other places, yes. I had to spend a fortnight in Ameroupe, and had a quick tour of Sharo, too."

Saito looked at him in delight.

"Aw, you're so lucky, Buruusu."

Blues raised an eyebrow, though what good it made from behind the visor is anyone's guess.

"How so?"

"I would give anything to do what you do."

"Wipe the floor with viruses?"

There was a teasing note in his voice, which Saito didn't fail to catch. He rolled his eyes accordingly, leaning a little towards him.

"No, Ego-sama," he teased, eyes twinkling.

Blues shrugged.

"It's not my fault I can't find one single opponent that's in my league."

Saito laughed, a sweet sound.

"True, but I was referring to the travelling." He sounded wistful for a moment. "I wish I could see the world; see all the places you always tell me about. The snowy plains of Brightland, the white shores of Jawaii. The red temples in Choina, 'their slender columns caught in the spires of golden-scaled dragons, that slither and slink earthwards to kiss their quivering reflection on the Blue River'."

A look of pure pleasure flickered across what little was visible of Blues's face.

"You read it."

Saito nodded, with a delight that could be nothing else but genuine.

"It was a lovely book, Buruusu, even better than what you told me!" It was no secret that Saito was an avid reader. With his weak physique, pencil and books where the only pastimes he could indulge in without fear.

But the books that Blues gifted him touched something deeper than the rest; turned his deepest dreams and hopes into image and word, enriching and moving him in ways he couldn't explain, as though (and that might be the truth, mind you) Blues knew his hopes and needs better than Saito himself.

"I got it printed down, and read it twice already," the boy revealed, _trying_ not to blush.

And failing, most endearingly so.

"And got some parts memorized?"

Saito stuttered, squirming. Amazing how Blues was, at the same time, the one person he felt most relaxed and most nervous around.

"A… err…pparently."

"Good," Blues said with an hint of amusement in his voice. "Because I've bought you more." And the grateful smile he got from Saito was all the reward he could ask for.

"Thank you, Buruusu. You didn't have to."

"It was nothing," he shook his head, silver hair dancing about his shoulders. "I couldn't help but think of you when I saw those e-books in Ameroupe, and so I downloaded them for you."

The nervousness seemed to slid off Saito like water, a work of magic. His blush subsided, and the twinkle of pleasure in his eyes became much brighter.

"Bu…"

Right then, as if on cue, Netto slammed the door open, causing Saito to jump a feet in the air (though Blues remained unruffled), and bounded inside.

"Rockman!!!! You should've seen it! That new PET's so—oh, hey there, Blues!"

Blues bowed his head politely.

"Netto-san."

Saito was trying not to glare at Netto, with just about the same successful rate as his previous endeavour not to blush.

"Rockman? Is it Rock_man_, now? Netto!"

"What? It's _cute_!" Netto pouted defensively. He skated up to the examination table and hopped on beside Saito. He leaned towards his twin, unmindful of his glare, and explained: "Besides, it's a charm."

Saito rolled his eyes in exasperated amusement.

"Netto, I told you…"

Netto shook his head stubbornly, effectively silencing his twin.

"Rocks can withstand everything, right? So, if you are a rock, you will… well, withstand everything too, even this stupid disease, so I call you rock. But you're a human too, Saito-nii, and so I thought that if I called you Rockman I'd cover, you know, both sides of the whole thing, and as I said before, it sounds _cute_."

There followed a minute of silence. Then Blues said (and you could almost _hear_ the quirked eyebrow in his voice):

"It makes sense, in its own, twisted little way."

Netto gestured eloquently towards the Navi.

"See? Even Blues agrees with me!"

"I didn't exactly…"

"He didn't exactly…" Saito and Blues said as one, but Netto was too excited to listen.

"And if Blues agrees with me, then I must be right, because Blues is _always_ right, and now that I think about it, Blues's a kind of music and Rock's too, and since the name is cute, and it _is_ a charm, and it goes well with Blues's own, then Rockman is what you are going to be called from now on. I said."

There followed another long silence, then Yuuichiro piped up, from his forgotten corner amongst PCs:

"Well, it _really_ makes sort of sense." He risked a wave when the three turned as one towards him, half-surprised at his presence, and laughed at their reaction. Saito's blushing cheeks were so _cute_, he looked good enough to eat. And catching Blues unaware was always fun.

Netto waved right back at his father, then jumped and skated over to go peer over his shoulder.

"What'cha workin' on, Papa? It's got anything to do with the PET Shigure showed me?"

"Shigure-_san_," Saito corrected from his perch on the examination table. Netto bobbed his head up and down.

"What I said. So, Papa?"

"My DA – Dimensional Area – is going to be used with the PET Shigure and Enzan have been developing, so yes, it's "got something to do with it", Netto."

"Dimensional Area?" Saito questioned, blinking. To which Netto added:

"What's that?"

Yuuichiro's face split in a most pleased grin.

"Blues was chosen as the main subject for this project, so he might be more apt than me to explain what a DA is, and what are its effects. Blues? If you please?"

Saito peered at Blues, and even though there were three people there to hear, the Navi's words seemed to be spoken for him, and him alone.

"It allows Navis in the real world," Blues said. "And gives them a concrete body."

Saito's heart lurched so hard, for a moment he thought he was underwater, and there was no air for him to breathe, and no noise for him to hear, and it was all that water that made his vision swim.

**- TBC -**

* * *

_And finally, the moment we all have been waiting for: Blues has been introduced!!! How was it? For a while, I'd been tempted to have them meet for the first time in this chapter, but then I figured that making them long-time friends was much more appealing. :]_

_Speaking of which, you'll have noticed that Saito uses the Japanese spelling of Blues's name: "Buruusu". Partly, it's because Saito _is_ Japanese. However, the main reason for it is that, at least in my mind, that sort of "nickname" hints subtly to the level of intimacy/friendship between them. They do have a history together, and the nickname sort of proves it, without being too obvious._

_As for why Saito is a bit of bookworm… well, we all know that Rockman is bundle of energy that knows no rest. But Saito can't channel his energy the way Rockman does: first because he's human, and second because he's terribly ill. I figured that pouring over drawings and books would be his best option, since they're non-exertive, but highly-enjoyable past times. Besides, books allow him to live all kind the of adventures, and see all sort of places. _


	3. Chapter 3 of 5

This is inexcusably late, but I've been ill, and couldn't come online for a long time. :( That's also the reason why I haven't answered your reviews yet. I promise I'll try, in the next few days.

**Title: **Eidolons.

**Author:** Nemesi.

**Fandom:** (MMBN)

**Genre: **Romance. Angst. Tragedy.

**Word Count: **_Chapter:_3.176_ Whole fic:_ 13.934 circa (undertaking revisions).

**Characters: **Saito Hikari/Rockman,Hikari Netto, Hikari Yuuichiro, Blues, Ijiuin Enzan. Others mentioned.

**Rating:** PG-13.

**Disclaimer:** , its characters, places and themes belong to Capcom, Shogakukan, ShoPro, TV Tokio, etc. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Warnings:** AU. Shounen-ai.

**A/N:** I've been plagued by this idea for a while now. And I've fallen rather hard for this AU.

**Summary: **What if despite his heart disease Saito had _not_ died and be turned into Rockman? Would he still have fallen in love with Blues, and Blues with him, even if one was a human, and the other a _Navi_…?

* * * * *

_An half-finished sketch:_

_**T**__he boy is slender, lean, not small as much as _compact_, his proportions those of a doll, the almost feminine head bigger than the classic model, the neck arched like a swan's, and with a sensuous curve to his shoulders and hips. He looks ageless – a teenager with a child's face with an elder's eyes – and enamoured. He is blue – in both garments and mood._

_He is reclining in a dark void, an emptiness that at a closer inspections reveals a multitude of little dots scattered through. His arm is stretched, the fingers of his hand splayed open, reaching for something. _

_A vague figure is looming behind him, and the bizarre prospective makes it impossible to say if it stands within the boy's reach, or on the distant horizon._

_It has been rendered quickly with just three colours – so quickly, in fact, it looks hazy, ghost-like, like a mirage or reflection. It is made in red. Red and silver. Red and silver with a black stripe where its eyes ought to be._

_It is bending towards the boy. Pleading, or desperate perhaps; but its elusiveness is like a cruel mockery for both figures. The general feel one gathers by looking at the picture is that the two are star-crossed lovers, forever banned from touching._

_The emotions it conveys are so deep, Saito got an A for that painting, in school._

_He crumbled and tossed the thing away as soon as he came home._

* * * * *

**I**t was a dark and dreary day, fit for a ghost novel or a classic horror flick.

The sky was low, the clouds dark and ominous, ripe with icy water and purple slivers of lightning. Rain was falling in flashing sheets of silver, hissing like one hundred angry snakes. It cascaded down the streets in torrents, churning and bubbling there were a grating was supposed to be, crowded with a greyish foam.

Saito sat in the empty Sci-Lab's van, watching the technicians run about at the other end of the street, so distant that they looked no bigger than stick figures in an old cartoon.

They were disassembling their equipment as quickly as they could, trying to keep the delicate instrument somewhat dry in the pouring onslaught of rain. A few of the younger techs had taken off their coat to wrap it about their load; others carried so much in their pockets, that spare wires and circuitries could be seen peeking from over the rim, like curious pets.

Meijin-san, the other head of the Dimensional Area Project, was herding his co-workers inside a near construction, shouting and running about to speed up the process. He looked drenched to the bone, his hair plastered to his temples, his shirt sticking to his chest like a second skin.

Saito snuggled deeper in the passenger seat, and watched his breath turn into mist in the enclosed space. The Dimensional Area was finally ready to be tested out in the city, all the papers had been signed, the necessary transmitter and relays had been put into place, the townspeople had been alerted; Blues had been unglued from Enzan for the whole of a day, Saito had got permission to assist from both his parents and his doctor… and _this_ had to happen.

Dismally, Saito gazed up at the sky, searching fruitlessly for a clear patch of sky, or at least a slice of pale sunlight. But darkness spread as far as the eye could see, a rumbling, shifting mass like an ocean of ink. When he sighed, the windowpane fogged before him, clouding his reflection.

It wasn't fair. He was supposed to be with Blues by now, a _real_ Blues, life-sized and concrete under his fingertips for the first time in a lifetime, and _not_ huddled like a stray cat in a smelly van, drenched and shivering.

He rubbed his palms along his arms, trying to warm himself up, and gazed out in the distance, scanning the now empty street with an half-smile. At least the instruments were safe, he reflected. He spied Meijin gesturing at him from the door of the warehouse and waved back, signalling he was safe.

He was weighting the pros and cons of taking a nap, when he felt something – a buzz or an itch – run down his spine. He knew before he saw it that Blues was logging in. He straightened, chest inflated with that usual melee of emotions that always came with Blues's appearance, and released a small, excited noise.

The Prototype of Advanced PET which Shigure-san had developed for the experiment lit up, and Saito grasped it just in time to see Blues appear on the monitor.

"What a luck, mh?"

Saito pouted, an action he didn't perform as often as his brother, but with the same flawless skills.

"I can't believe it. Of all the days it could pour cats and dogs, it had to be today. _Today_."

Blues's answering chuckle was low and rumbling and more than just pleasant to Saito's ears.

"I know. I was looking forward to becoming real." Like the puppet in the fairytale, he thought idly. Whose happiness lay in the hands of the Blue Fairy with the broken heart.

"The weather forecast says that winds should scatter the storm clouds before nightfall," he offered after a while. "If the storm is over before dusk, Meijin-san might still authorize the experiment."

Saito sighed.

"I wish, Buruusu. I was looking forward to it, too…" he trailed off, with a shiver which was only partially imputable to the cold.

"The experiment has been postponed, not cancelled," Blues reminded him softly. "We're going to make it."

Saito nodded, teeth chattering. Blues took him in with a long look, then opened his mouth.

"You'd better…" he paused, glancing down and away. "…get out of those wet clothes. There should be a blanket in the back." He added in a somewhat rushed voice.

Saito blinked, looking down at himself. His clothes were drenched enough to be transparent, sticking in patches to the curves of his body. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, baring the hollow of his throat and his chest, that rose and fell in rapid succession, straining against the sodden fabric. Even the contours of his thighs, slim but shapely, looked enticing underneath the clinging embrace of his pants.

Saito stiffened, breath hitching; colouring slightly about the cheeks as he realized that he was all but _naked_ in front of _Blues_, naked and _delectable_, like in some rare dreams he didn't dare confess even to himself.

His head sank between his shoulders like a turtle's.

"Sorry," he croaked.

Blues glanced up at him out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't help but follow a pearl of rain as it rolled down the side of Saito's neck, sailed down the curve of the delicate throat and across his chest, disappearing there where the fabric clung to a pert nipple.

"No need to apologize. Just… go dry yourself."

Saito nodded, then bent over to try and reach the blanket in the back. Blues discreetly turned his back as Saito peeled his soaked clothes off, and raised the temperature in the car. When Saito felt the warm blows of air caress his bare sides and back, he paused in his ministrations, head tilted as though he was in reverie.

"If only…" he touched his throat. "It could have been your arms warming me up." His hand slid down, dropped. The silence was thick between them, thick and pregnant; it felt like a weight in the back of their throats.

It lasted but a moment; then Saito took a deeper breath, making noise. And went back to drying himself.

Blues seemed to sink in his own thoughts; so deep that he was surprised when Saito reclaimed the PET, curling on the backseat with it tucked against his chest.

"Buruusu?"

"Yes?"

"What will we do once you're real?"

There was a window inside the PET, in which Saito's face was framed, pale and flushed at once. Blues went to push his fingertips against the shimmering image, smirking.

"I seem to recall someone here has a love for books?"

Saito grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Then we'll go where books are."

"You'll take me to a _library_?"

"Why not?"

"And to the park?"

"I heard that's a good place to read."

"Which means you're going to read to me?" he was amused. Blues affected an affronted tone.

"You silly boy. _You_ will read to _me_. I'll just lay down and let you do all the work."

"Lay down?" Saito cooed, laughter clear in his tone. "With your head in my lap?"

"And your hand in my hair," Blues clucked his tongue. "We both know it's going to find its way in there."

"You can't blame a boy for wanting to touch hair fit for a conditioner's commercial!"

"Are you implying you can blame a Navi for how he's been _programmed_?"

They spoke for a while more, trading banter, laughing and smiling, hushed like friends who share secrets under the safe havens of their bedcovers. And they could've weathered the storm in such fashion, hadn't Saito's disease chosen to made itself known at that moment.

They both seemed to feel it, at the same time. Both stilled, wide eyes meeting through visor and monitor, when Saito's heart missed the first beat. The boy opened his mouth in a round 'o' of surprise, then the world was drowned by the mad horse's galloping of his blood.

His throat clogged, feeling swollen and dry and spongy, all at once. His surroundings tilted, every thing in sight wavering and twisting into horrible and fantastic shapes, and then ink was spreading through his vision.

He slumped, still coherent enough to realize he'd hit his forehead against the gear lever and that it'd bruise, and then he lost what little remained of his wits. He was diving into that dark place encrusted with data that he always saw in his dreams, and it was cosier than usual. He caught the usual glimpse of rose-red and moonlight — which he realized looked more like fresh blood and sugar frosting up close — and then he felt himself dip and spin, like a leaf carried by the breeze.

For a moment, he felt like he was cradled within a shell, its walls firm and safe against his back and arms; a soft warmness was pushed against his cheek, his forehead, his lips. He caught a flash of pale, pale silver as something smooth and silky cool slithered against the side of his face and then, just as the tide that had caught him gently lifted him airborne, everything went black, as though a switch had been turned off.

**H**e came to to a fissured, grey-stained ceiling which was as familiar as it was unsettling.

His lips felt parched, his eyes were blurry. He though he could hear the distant plick-plocking of a drop falling, and the sleeping lion's purr of medical machineries. When he tried to move, he felt a painful ping inside his right elbow, and when his head emptied enough for him to turn it, he saw there was an IV attached to his right arm, pushing a clear liquid in his veins.

"Welcome back," a voice told him, and by now Saito had regained enough of his faculties to know he was in the hospital.

He turned pleading eyes towards the nurse, who pushed the oxygen mask off his face and offered him some chipped ice.

"What happened?" he asked in-between spoonfuls. The woman – a plump blonde in her late forties – made a cooing little sound, like a worried birdie.

"Your heart, my boy." She offered, as though it explained everything.

And it _did_, Saito realized with dread.

"I had a crisis?"

The woman tutted with fake cheerfulness.

"A minor one, sweetie. Nothing to worry about." She pushed more ice between his lips, brisk but not ungentle. Saito munched on the offered treat, then shook his head at the next spoonful. He looked about, absently counting the beats of his heart – one, two, one, two, one, two – then shifted his eyes back to the nurse.

"How did I get in here?"

"Oh, dear!" the woman cried, flattening a hand to her bosom. "That was the most amazing thing! I thought I'd die, I got such a scare!"

Saito tilted his head questioningly, and the woman launched herself in a swooning report.

"They had told us for sure that something odd might happen, but when the sky fractured and then flashed like a soap bubble, I thought the day of reckoning had come upon us! What a _fright_ I got! It took me a while to remember they were testing that thing downtown today… that Diametrical Area, or what'sitcalled.

"But just when I realized that nothing bad was going to happen to me, I got another scare! This very handsome man came leaping from above – I promise, sweetheart, he leaped from the opposite _roof_ – carrying you like a princess, and I thought one of God's angels had come to take my life!" She linked her fingers together.

"He was such a heart-stopper… what with those abs and legs! Good thing he showed you to me, or I might have just gaped at him till… what's that thing called… they were testing today went off!" she cooed. "He said he was an officer, and came searching for help. _That_ got me back to my senses. I hardly ever heard someone sound so _frantic_. A waste such a fine man turned out to be a _Navi_. Oww," she complained. "It's always like this. When they're strong and handsome, they're either married, or digital. What a waste. What a _waste_."

She grumbled to herself a little more, bemoaning her bad luck, but she might have been gone already for the amount of attention Saito was sparing her. His eyes were pinned somewhere over and above her shoulder.

"Miss?" he called, licking his lips. "Would you mind it terribly much if I… asked you to leave? I'd… I'd like to go back to sleep."

The nurse toned down her chirping, and looked upon Saito with a motherly smile.

"Of course not, sweetheart. Sleep is good for you. Have a good rest." She got up and collected her things, closing the door noiselessly on her way out.

Now the only light in the room was the flickering radiance coming from a chair beside Saito's bed. On it, propped against the pile of Saito's neatly-folded clothes, stood the Prototype Advanced PET. Blues was inside the monitor, as still and silent as a statue.

Saito had so many things he wanted to tell him – to _ask_ him – but one thought prevailed on all others, burning to the front of his brain like a white flame.

They'd touched.

_Touched_.

For the first time in their life, Blues had placed his hands on him, closed his arms about Saito and held him against him chest, cradled him, carried him…

…and Saito _hadn't been awake for any of it_.

"Hey," Saito croaked, sounding small and fragile like a china thing. Blues released a shuddering sigh, something relieved and weary at once.

"Hey."

Saito licked his suddenly-dry lips, unaware that the flash of pink commanded Blues's attention to his mouth.

"You saved me."

"I did."

"You used the Dimensional Area to come to the real world?"

"I had to."

"Without permission?"

"I _had_ to."

"The relays…"

"Gone. Lightening overloaded them."

"They'll--- they'll punish you for that."

"I don't care. It was to save you."

"But the machines…"

"Are replaceable. You aren't."

"Buruusu…"

"The Dimensional Area could have never found a better use."

"Buruusu…"

"Ever."

"You…"

"Yes?"

"…touched me."

It was out, like a shell thrown ashore by the tide.

Blues stilled, like a tape put on stop-motion.

"You touched me," Saito repeated, even quieter than before. "I want you to touch me again."

"One day…"

"I want you to touch me _now_."

"I can't."

"I know. But I want it, Buruusu. I _want_ it." He reached out, and gazed at Blues through his wide-spread fingers. As he spoke, even though his tone stayed low and sombre, his breathing grew ragged, feverish. "I've waited so long for you to touch me, _so long_, and I wasn't awake when it happened. How can that be fair, Buruusu? Now that the relays have burst, the project will be put on hold, it'll take months for the repairs to be made, and you might even be sent away because you used the equipment without authorization and damaged it." He took the hand to his chest, curled his body around it. A wet blotch appeared on his cushion next to his cheek, then another. "It was my chance, my one chance to feel you, and my stupid heart threw it all to waste."

"Saito…"

He gave a chortling laugh. "A-and if things weren't messed up so badly now you'd be _here_ comforting me, and not standing _there_ watching, and I hate that you can't, I hate that I went so close, and will never know what it feels like to…"

"…you were cold." Blues interjected, very slowly and quietly, like one who talks to himself. Saito went still as stone.

"You were cold," Blues repeated again. "When I allowed myself to think about it, I'd always imagined you'd be warm, and soft all over, and pliant. But you weren't. Your lips were blue with cold, and your skin felt chilly to the touch. I had one chance to touch you, and it was your dying skin I touched, your dying breath I felt. Was it fair? Probably not. And I'd lie if I said I didn't wish you'd been as warm and pliant as I'd thought.

"But I _touched_ you. And somehow this saved you. You might have not been warm under my hands, but you are now. Warm and alive. And that's all that matters to me. A taken chance is never wasted, Saito. And one day we'll touch again, that I promise you."

Saito was looking at him now, his eyes huge and seemingly alight in the cool darkness. He realized that Blues had made himself vulnerable with that admission, solely for his sake; and he felt a twinge of guilt at his own egotism. Suddenly, he wasn't sure which one of them had got the worse deal – the one who'd missed the experience altogether, or the one who'd had to live it.

Saito wiped his eyes resolutely, then snuggled in the thin pillow, unmindful of the wet stains, but not trying to hide them either.

"You want to touch me?"

"I do."

There was a fine dew still clinging to his lower lashes, but there also was a smile on his face.

"I'm holding you to that promise, Buruusu."

"Good. Because it's a promise I intend to keep."

Saito seemed satisfied with that, and Blues looked satisfied with the boy's satisfaction.

"Get some sleep now. You heard the nurse. I will be here when you wake up."

* * *

_I'm not completely satisfied with this chapter, but damned if I know why. -_-;;_

_I think my main issue is with the part where Saito undresses and wishes for Blues to… well, to be _there_. I wanted to convey the feelings Saito is struggling with: he's a teenage boy, a like all teenagers he's got desires, fantasies, urges; desires that all focus around Blues, who's as beautiful to him as he's unattainable._

_The first version of the chapter hinted to that desire; then I edited it and erased that part, thinking that "desire" might be too heavy a topic to address. But I wanted that frustration, that _need_ to be addressed. So I edited the chapter, and thought it didn't come out exactly the way wanted it, I re-inserted the erased scene._

_As for Blues, he's a Navi, so he probably does not have sexual urges. But he wishes he could touch Saito all the same, as mentioned at the bottom of the chapter. Navis might not be human, but they are based on them, so touch is probably a very important aspect of their relationship (besides, I'm biased like that: like Blues, I also think Rock would be soft all over and warm and pliant to the touch… whereas Blues would be a study of hard-rock, sinewy muscles. *LOL*)._

_Also, a note on the opening scene: at first, there was something else altogether there, and the "sketch" part opened up the next chapter. Since this chapter here deals all with touch and the impossibility of touch, I switched the openings around. Probably, what was addressed in the original opening sequence *had* priority over the touch issue. But it wouldn't have made sense to rant about touch the whole chapter, and then open up the next on the same note. It would've been… redundant, wouldn't it?_

_Besides, the scene where Saito reaches out for Blues in the hospital sort of mimics the scene depicted in the sketch. Sort of. :)_

_Last note, then I promise I'm letting you all go._

_There's 1001 things I want to say in this fics; topics I want to address, scenes I want to show you, dialogues I want the characters to have. But I'm also doing my hardest to keep this story short –very SHORT._

_But do you think I'm actually going too fast? :o I sure hope not! ._


	4. Chapter 4 of 5

**Title: **Eidolons.

**Author:** Nemesi.

**Fandom:** (MMBN)

**Genre: **Romance. Angst. Tragedy.

**Word Count: **_Chapter:_2.949_ Whole fic:_ 13.934 circa (undertaking revisions).

**Characters: **Saito Hikari/Rockman,Hikari Netto, Hikari Yuuichiro, Blues, Ijiuin Enzan. Others mentioned.

**Rating:** PG-13.

**Disclaimer:** , its characters, places and themes belong to Capcom, Shogakukan, ShoPro, TV Tokio, etc. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Warnings:** AU. Shounen-ai.

**A/N:** I've been plagued by this idea for a while now. And I've fallen rather hard for this AU.

**Summary: **What if despite his heart disease Saito had _not_ died and be turned into Rockman? Would he still have fallen in love with Blues, and Blues with him, even if one was a human, and the other a _Navi_…?

* * * * *

_A letter never sent:_

_**D**__ear Blues,_

_do you remember our first meeting? It came disguised as something ordinary, as is the way of life-changing events. You weren't the first Navi I spoke to, nor was I your first human. Beautiful as you were, I was still too young to notice you in any way (apart from the fact I thought I _had_ to touch your hair or die from want); nor can I believe a small child with a glowing-red runny nose and his lips jugging out in the mother of all pouts made that much of an impression on _you_._

_I was there for a check-up, you were there for a check-up. _

_It started like this._

_At Sci-Lab._

_The day of my sixth birthday._

_Do you remember it, Blues? Can you summon the memory from the depths of your systems? The memory of when we became friends? _

_I do._

_What I can't remember, what I can't _pinpoint_, is the moment we _stopped_ being friends. I don't know how, I don't know why, but one day, suddenly, you weren't just Blues anymore, you were _BLUES,_ and though it might seem it changed nothing, it changed everything. _You_ were everything, and I'm not sure if you changed, or I did, or if it was both of us or neither one that contributed to this change, but I started to see you with different eyes, eyes that followed you everywhere, eyes that saw you even when they were closed in reverie, eyes that _felt_ you before you even showed up in the same room as me, and you, oh, you started to do all kind of things to me, or better yet: your _presence_ did, your voice, your mouth, your _eyes_, and I'm not sure if it's right, or wrong, or sane or foolish, and I don't know if you feel the same or even if you should, but I hope you do, because I love you Blues, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,IloveyouIloveyouIlovey_ouloveyouloveyou...

* * * * *

**W**hen Saito awoke again, it was from a restless sleep. His head felt stuffed with cotton, and his chest ached, as though he had gone underwater and held his breath for too long. He gingerly pushed himself up, and eased his back against the pillows with an heaving sigh.

A glance at the PET confirmed that Blues had been true to his word. The Navi stood guard by his bedside, wearing a look on his face, a mixture of fondness and worry, that filled Saito's stomach with a dozen butterflies.

The boy's lips felt parched, and so he had to wet them before he could croak out a tentative greeting. Blues's answer was just as hushed, something that Saito appreciated, on behalf of his pounding headache.

"What time is it?"

"8:35 pm."

Saito winced, either at the news or because another ache had made itself known in his body.

"I slept the day through?"

"_And_ the night _and_ the day after."

Saito rubbed his face to wake himself further, making a noise like laughter from under his hand.

"Have you heard from Papa?"

"I did. I called him right after you stabilized, but by the time he arrived here you had fallen back asleep. Your mother and your brother also came, but the nurses wouldn't let anyone disturb you. I opened a video link," he added when he noticed that Saito was frowning. "And allowed them a peek inside."

"Thanks."

"Your cardiologist was also called. He's talking with your parents at the moment." He stopped, attention seemingly caught by something else. "But your brother is currently pacing the hall. Shall I alert him that you're awake?"

"Please," Saito said softly. "Knowing Netto, he must be in a panic."

Blues nodded, then turned to press a few keys on an holographic console inside the PET. There was a cry outside the room, followed by the furious pounding of feet, and Saito had barely enough time to move over, before his twin had barrelled inside and leaped _onto_ the bed, school-pack slung over his shoulder and the wheels of his rollerblades turning and turning in mid-air.

"Rock-nii!!!"

Saito didn't know if he was amused, moved, scared, or cross with his twin's sudden pounce. He settled for amusement, and touched the back of Netto's head with cool, gentle fingers.

"Still alive, Netto."

Netto's bottom lip was trembling, and his eyes shone wet. He gave his twin a careful shove, glowering pitifully up at him.

"I can't believe you gave me such a _scare_!"

Saito attempted a chuckle.

"Uhm, next time my heart decides it wants to stop, I'll try to give you a warning beforehand."

"Rock-nii!!!!" Netto cried, scandalised, and gave his twin another shove, even more careful than the previous one. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, then arranged himself into a seated position.

Saito gave Netto a smile, and smoothed down his twin's hair like he always did when they were little, and Netto got scared or sad over something. He'd comforted Netto with the same careful, gentle touches when their dog had died, and also on the eves of some frightful happenings, such as when they moved into ACDC town, or when he had to get his tooth pulled.

Physically, Saito might have been the most fragile twin; but he was also the older, and he felt it was his duty to keep Netto from harm. He was fiercely protective of his cheerful, wonderful fool of a twin, with his goofy grins and untameable spirit, his generous heart and unwavering faith. If it was ever asked of him, he'd give his life for Netto, readily and with no regrets.

He was still firmly entwined with his little brother, when someone knocked at the door an unknown amount of time later. Thinking it was either their parents or his cardiologist, Gokuraku-hakase, Saito called for them to come in.

He was rather surprised to see Ijuin Enzan slunk inside instead, his hand in his pocket and exuding his usual aura of cool detachment. Netto blushed at being caught _cuddling_ his twin like a child, and scampered off Saito with an embarrassed squeak. Saito smiled knowingly, barely suppressing a chuckle, but said nothing.

Enzan was one of their father's associates; despite his young age, he was not only a genius programmer, but also the vice-president of an international company and an official Net Saviour. His acquaintance with the twins went back to their childhood: even back then, Enzan could afford to have his Navi checked and upgraded at Sci-Lab thanks to his father's money, and he'd stumbled upon the twins during one of such check-ups.

As the years went by, Enzan had begun to retreat into himself more and more, growing prematurely jaded due to the exceeding burden of expectation placed on his shoulders. The Hikari twins were somehow able to relate to him, being subject to a stressful life themselves; and thus became the only acquaintances his age Enzan could suffer (dare we say 'like'?).

Their friendship was unusual; Saito was too lovable not to be liked by anyone, even someone as cold and poised as Enzan. But Netto and Enzan's personalities clashed so much, they were almost opposites: Enzan was calculative and serious, Netto was exuberant and cheerful. Enzan was a lone wolf, Netto was talkative and friendly. Enzan had known first hand how cynic the world could be and reacted accordingly; while Netto had an unwavering trust in people.

Saito privately thought that the two could compliment and complete each other in the most splendid way, if only the would stop being stubborn and _try_. Their constant quarrelling could be amusing only for so long, and he was eager to see the two on friendly terms. Enzan was someone he held in the highest regard – his sense of duty and justice were something rare in that day and age. And Saito had long decided that Enzan would be the person he'd entrust Netto to if something ever happened to him.

However, as it always happened, seeing the prodigy was as much a pleasing surprise as it was a dreaded occurrence for Saito. Because whenever Enzan approached him, it meant Blues was abut to be taken away.

As expected, Enzan wasted little time producing a box of candy from behind his back, and tossed it at Saito with no explanation to accompany his gesture. There was a fancy get-better card attached to the box, golden and pretty on the outside, but empty within. He offered a quiet greeting ("Hey,"), then began to scan the room like a predator trying to locate its quarry.

It took him but a few seconds to find what he was looking for, and when he did, he was quick to reclaim it.

He strode up to the chair, seized the PET, and thrust it in his pocket. When he turned to face the twins, his face was his usual, impassive mask, but it had somehow softened, as though having PET and Navi back on his person had somehow cured an ancient ache.

"Blues e-mailed me. How're you feeling now?"

Saito shrugged.

"I've been worse," he offered.

"Next time you decide you want to have a crisis, try…" Enzan began to say something biting, as was his custom. But a glance into Netto's stricken face was enough to force him to hold his tongue. "…to refrain from it. Understood?"

Saito laughed, understanding his plight.

"I'll try." He patted the mattress beside Netto invitingly. "Want to take a seat?"

Enzan shook his head, and something fierce and angry wafted by his eyes, too quick for Saito to be sure it wasn't imagined.

"Thanks but _no_ _thanks."_ Enzan patted the pocket where he'd stored the PET. "This thing is a classified item. It shouldn't be out of the lab longer than necessary. If you'll excuse me," he nodded briskly, narrowed eyes lingering on the twin's entwined fingers for the longest moment. Then, pivoting smoothly on his heels, he strolled to the door.

He had his back to the room and his hand fisted around the doorknob when he paused, visibly steeling himself.

"Saito-kun?"

Saito was sitting with Netto's head in his lap, laughing at his twin's antics. He looked up, eyes twinkling with amused affection.

"Yes?"

"You'd better keep in my mind that my Navi is just _that_. A Navi. And _mine own_. Think about it, if you want to spare your heart more damage."

Saito recoiled as though he'd be physically struck. Netto glanced in confusion from one to the other and back, but Enzan was out of the room and all the way down the hall before a reply could be formulated.

**A**fter that episode, Saito had to stay in the hospital for another fortnight, running a number of tests and exams.

His days were short and eventful. His mother and father took turns at his bedside, keeping him distracted; while Netto all but chose the chair by his bed as his new lodging place.

Sure, he went to school. But as soon as the last bell rang, he skated all the way to the Hospital and inside his twin's room, glued his bottom to that chair, grasped the edge with his fingers, and refused to budge till after dinner time.

The nurses _tried_ to talk some reason into him. But when even dragging him out of the room had the only result to have him bounce back in, chair and all, they gave up. To pacify his parents, Netto made his homework while in there (there was a nurse who explained Math better than his own professor did), but mostly played jester for his twin, trying to brighten his days.

Not once did Blues show up.

Worried, Saito asked his father about him. Was Blues all right? Had he had to suffer any consequence for his rash actions during the storm? And had he called, written, left a message or something, _anything_?

Yuuichiro admitted that his superiors had been less than pleased with what had happened; but what was done was done, and a human life was worth more than a few millions Zennies of damaged equipment. Besides, Blues _was_ an Officer, and in the face of danger, saving lives was his top-priority. He could be scolded, but not _punished_ for doing the most sensible thing. Blues's Net-Op, Ijuin Enzan, had given the top-heads of Sci-Lab a lecture in that sense, and also offered to pay for whatever damage his Navi had caused in the course of duty.

"_Enzan_?" Saito questioned, with sudden enlightenment.

Yuuichiro cringed.

"Uhm, yes."

Saito narrowed his eyes.

"Is _he_ the reason why Blues hasn't visited once?"

Yuuichiro's face was, like most of his kin's, very open and easy to read, totally unapt for lies. He moved his mouth like a fish for a while, gesturing about, eyebrows raising on their own accord and eyes shifting tellingly, then gave up, slumping resignedly into his chair.

"…kind of, yes."

Saito was a boy of easily roused passions; he was too honest for it not to be so. He grew angry very quickly, but the only outward sign of his anger was a narrowing of his overtly-bright eyes.

"He's blaming me for Blues's mishap."

"Not blaming _per se_…"

"Typical Enzan," Saito muttered. "It must've stung his pride that Blues didn't perform his duty flawlessly just for the sake of one person!"

"Saito, you're being unfair."

"You can't deny Enzan is a perfectionist."

"Saito, listen to me," Yuuichiro said gently. "He might be ruffled up, because Blues _never_ acted rashly or made mistakes before, but he's glad you're safe."

"I never claimed he wasn't." The boy clutched his elbows. "But he's not happy, or else he wouldn't keep Blues" _from me_ "from coming over."

"No, he's not _happy_. The experiment has been put on hold, a lot of money has gone to waste, and the delay hangs heavily on Blues's head. He's had to apologize to people who haven't got half his brains, and silence their recrimination with his father's money. Would _you_ be happy? Honestly."

Saito took a deep breath.

"…no," he said at last. "But would _I _keep someone from visiting his hospitalized friend?"

"No. But Saito…" Yuuichiro paused, licked his lips. His fingers found their way in his hair, racking nervously through it. "Just because I understand your feelings," he offered slowly, "it doesn't mean he also _has_ to."

Suddenly, Saito found himself going lightheaded with an unnameable emotion. His father understood. Did that mean his father _knew _the nature of his feelings? His father, his darling father…

Saito's eyelids slip shut, an attempt to regain his focus. He took deep, relaxing breaths, eyes clenched so hard that gold-speckled clouds of red swam across his vision.

"Or rather: he understands perfectly well what I feel, but can't _accept_ it," he murmured.

"He'll come around."

Saito glanced at his father's serene face, with feverish eyes that stood sharply against the pallor of his cheeks.

"Aren't you…" _angry, disappointed, disgusted, hurt_. Saito didn't know which word to pick, so opted to trail off into an eloquent silence.

Something unaccountably sad wafted by Yuuichiro's eyes.

"Saito, you must understand that your very presence here is a miracle in a for itself. The mere fact that you're alive is something I thank the Lord for each and every day of my life. When you first showed the symptoms of HBD, the doctors told us there was no hope. We were told you wouldn't live enough to say your first word, but you did, and it was 'papa'. We were told you wouldn't live enough to take your first step, but you did, and we got it on tape, up to the point when you stumbled and fell against Netto and you both burst into tears, heaving so hard we got scared for you.

"Each time we went to see the cardiologist at the hospital, he gave us another ultimatum – your first teeth, your first year of life, your first _fever_. But you were stronger than they gave you credit for. Despite the odds, you lived on and on, and grew up into the fine young man you're now. Saito… _Saito_. That you've lived enough to know love is something that gladdens me. Love is what makes life worth being lived. In the face of your happiness, nothing else matters. Not that Blues is a male, or a Navi." He grew silent; his eyes flickered down, and he mused, so low it looked like he was talking to himself:

"Besides, loving Blues might…" he shook his head like one who has to forcibly bring himself back from a dream or reverie, and offered Saito another smile, thinner but genuine. "My only concern is, does he return the feeling?"

Saito gaped, like a goldfish in its bowl, for the whole of a minute; then, with an almost funny delay, a bright flush rose from the tip of his chin to the roots of his hair.

"_P-Papa!_"

"It's a legitimate question, son. So, _does_ _he_?" he pressed, not quite airily.

"I…" Saito clenched the sheets between his fingers. Not even in his wildest dreams, had he had _this_ conversation with his father. What should he _do_?

"I don't _know_ Papa," he said at length. "I think, I mean…" he shook his head, "I _hope_ he does. It's not like I can ask him outright, but sometimes… _sometimes_… the way he looks at me… the things he tells me… or… or _doesn't_ tell me, but lets linger between us… I… I _hope_, Papa." He concluded helplessly. "I can only _hope_."

**-TBC**

* * *

_I must admit: when I decided to try and put this story into words, it was because I'd been hit with the idea for a scene where Saito told Netto about his feelings for Blues. It was incredibly clear in my mind – the setting, the colouring, the words… everything._

_But the way I was writing the fic, the scene couldn't fit in anymore. Besides, I'd added a scene where Saito has a similar dialogue with Yuuichiro, and I didn't want the chapter to be repetitive._

_So I had to renounce to the very scene that prompted me to write the fic. How ironic. And… sad, too. :( I'll try to squeeze it back into the next chapter; or I might just offer it as a separate vignette, one day._

_Another thing I deleted and might post separately is a scene where Yuuichiro and Saito teased Netto for his… ah… deep admiration of Enzan.*chuckles* Anyone's interested?_

_Speaking of Yuuichiro, I took a gamble here; but I truly believe he'd rather have his son alive, and in a gay relationship, than he be long dead. ç.ç_


	5. Chapter 5 of 5

**Title: **Eidolons.

**Author:** Nemesi.

**Fandom:** (MMBN)

**Genre: **Romance. Angst. Tragedy.

**Word Count: **_Chapter:_4.865_ Whole fic:_ 16.054.

**Characters: **Saito Hikari/Rockman,Hikari Netto, Hikari Yuuichiro, Blues, Ijiuin Enzan. Others mentioned.

**Rating:** PG-13.

**Disclaimer:** , its characters, places and themes belong to Capcom, Shogakukan, ShoPro, TV Tokio, etc. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Warnings:** AU. Shounen-ai.

**A/N:** I've been plagued by this idea for a while now. And I've fallen rather hard for this AU.

**Summary: **What if despite his heart disease Saito had _not_ died and be turned into Rockman? Would he still have fallen in love with Blues, and Blues with him, even if one was a human, and the other a _Navi_…?

* * * * *

_A coded program:_

_**0**__ 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 0_ **1 1 1 1 1 1**_0 0 0 1 0 10 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0_

_0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0_ **1** _0 0 0 0_ **1** _0 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 11 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1_

_0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0_ **1** _0 0 0 0_ **1** _0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 1_

_1 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 0_ **1 1 1 1 1****1** _0 0 1 0 10 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1_

_0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0_ **1****1****1****1** _0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1_

_0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0_ **1****1** _0_ **1****1** _0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 1__0 0 1 0 1_

_1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0_ **1****1** _0 0_ **1****1** _0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1_

_0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0_ **1****1** _0 0 0_ **1****1** _0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1_

* * * * *

**B**arelya week later, Saito's cardiologist signed all the necessary papers to dismiss him from the hospital.

In the current state of things, doctors could do nothing for Saito but provide occasional painkillers and monitor his condition. Saito's parents could do the same home, and Gokuraku-hakase was of the mind that the cure administered by a loving hand was often more effective than that of a stranger, however qualified in the medical field.

And so it was that Saito left the Hospital; but he didn't leave the _bed_. The day of the storm his heart had sustained more damage that they'd previously thought: now even the smallest action left Saito gasping for breath, eyes blurry, feeling rivulets of sweat running down his back and an icy blade pierced through in his chest.

In front of his friends and relatives – Netto especially – Saito would put up a cheerful façade, smiling that sweet polite smile of his whom everyone loved, laughing at the right times and pouting playfully when he was expected to.

But at night he dreamt. And in his dreams he cried and pleaded and _bled_, but Blues would not answer his calls, not once, not _ever_, and Saito would let himself sink and drown and _liquefy_ in the oily darkness that surrounded him and wake up shivering, the Navi's name like a prayer on the tip of his tongue.

It is doubtful whether Blues's presence could've assuaged Saito's pain, given his condition. But love works in mysterious ways, and might prevail where all else fails.

Well aware of such thing, Yuuichiro tried more than once to invite Enzan over, or have Blues sent to his house with an excuse or the other. But Enzan was busy with projects of his own, and wouldn't send Blues anywhere without him.

"I _must_ make it work", he'd mumble as a means of explanation. "The PET must be completed"_. _And then turned back to his papers, leaving Yuuichiro to sigh and cut the video link from his end.

A month came a went in this fashion, then another.

As Saito's condition worsened, Yuuichiro threw himself blindly in his research, looking for a closure to his project as franticly as Saito looked for Blues in his nightmares.

New, more powerful relays were designed for the Dimensional Area; the required components were purchased from all four corners of the world. Meanwhile, the Prototype Advanced PET was put aside by Shigure and Enzan. An handful of Test Types was produced, and Navis other than Blues were summoned to Sci-lab to test them. The project proceeded speedily, and plans for the Production Model, the one that would hit the market, were well underway. The day when Navis could materialize in the Real World at will was almost at hand.

Saito grew weaker, thinner. There were deep dark circles under his over-bright eyes, and a glowing pallor had settled upon his cheeks. At times, melancholy set about him like a shroud, and his laughter sounded forced, a faded echo of the joyous tinkle it used to be.

Netto decided to spend the nights with him in his bed, mostly because of the nightmares: they'd been plaguing Saito for weeks on end, and the strain they induced was dangerous to his heart. Netto could do nothing more than soothe Saito before the trashing got too bad, and dab away the sweat from his forehead; but his presence seemed to help, however little. And so the twins took to curl up together like kittens when it was time for sleep, holding each other through the darkness.

In his dreams, Saito slipped noiselessly in the data-encrusted void from his childhood, got closer and closer to the once-far horizon. The blue ghostly shape that awaited him there became clearer by the day, until Saito recognized it was a reflection of himself he was seeing: a glowing thing of blue light that flared across a glossy mirror.

As for the flashes of red and silver that he saw further ahead, they were part of Blues, they _were_ Blues, _had_ to be: because what little he remembered from the night of the storm – Blues's arms closed about him, the hand cupping his face, silver hair sliding feather-like against his cheek – looked and felt the same as the nebulous colours on the horizon.

Those rare times he had the strength to, Saito would prop himself next to the window; and as his hands moved, alive with their own purpose, on his sketchbook or canvas, he'd wonder idly if the dream that had plagued him since childhood was a prophecy of sorts.

Wasn't his life a void alit with small crusts of gold, smalls crumbles of happiness? And didn't it converge towards one single thing, an unreal love made of red and silver that beckoned to him from beyond his reach?

There weren't tears in his eyes when he thought like so, because his sadness went beyond the physical; had he been a singer, he would've sung his sorrow; had he been a composer, he would've turned it into music.

As an artist, he put it down with pencil and crayons, then carefully crumpled the paper until it was smaller than his fist, and threw it away.

**B**y the end of the third month, Yuuichiro was barely ever home. Saito didn't begrudge his absence. Instead, he wordlessly prayed for his success, prayed that his father may complete the DA and bring Blues to him, so that he could die knowing what it felt like to be in the arms of the one he loved.

Ijiuin Enzan had turned into the resident ghost or curse, his presence something that could always be felt, even though he was never there. As for Blues, even Netto had learnt better than to say his name when Saito could hear it.

In time, Saito gave up painting, gave up sketching, gave up reading, in this order. When using brush and canvas before the window had become too much of a strain, he'd turned to ball pen and notebook, which he could use propped up against the cushions in bed. And when even that careful exercise had become too tiring, he'd picked up his books – mostly those he'd printed following Blues's advice — and took to reading the day away.

Now he did nothing but sleep. Once or twice he thought he heard Blues talk softly to him during his naps, but when he woke, he didn't dare ask if the Navi had linked himself to his laptop, fearing a positive answer as much as a denial.

He avoided mirrors by now, but he knew he looked threadbare: his stomach didn't take well to solid food, and even water had started to upset it, unless it was lukewarm. Saito accepted graciously to be attached to an IV, but his ribs started to peek out nonetheless. He suspected that painkillers had been added to the nutrient fluid, because the icy lump in his chest seemed to thaw a little, and his heart-crisis decreased.

In the realm of his dreams, his hand was now close enough for the palm to be reflected on the surface of the mirror, with each line as defined as a brush-stroke. Another day or two, a week at most, and his fingertips would touch their own reflection.

_What then?,_ Saito wondered. What _then_?

During that time, Enzan gave a phone call. Sent Netto a package with no card attached. It contained a blue Advanced PET that wasn't flung out of the window only due to Saito's gentle insistence. One late spring Saturday, Yuuichiro came home, clung to Haruka, and whispered: "I'm almost done," over and over.

It was the eve of their sons' birthday.

The next day dawned cold and bleak. A blanket of grey clouds hung low in the sky, effectively hiding every trace of blue. Mist rose in swirling plumes from the ground, like the steady breath of a sleeping beast. An icy drizzle began at sunrise and kept falling, falling, noiseless and merciless, like a plague. The water seemed to smudge the contours of every thing it touched, washing away all colours and blending them into an opaque, lifeless grey. There was no one braving the mist; no shadow and no light sailed across the cold streets.

In his bed, Saito opened his eyes and felt, for the first time in weeks, neither cold nor weak, not fatigued nor flimsy, but _whole_. He'd touched the mirror, the previous night in his dreams. And Blues had smiled at him from afar and reached out, a silent invitation to join him in the shadows beyond the horizon.

Saito smiled, that huge, brilliant smile of his that could enslave hearts and melt snow. He'd never felt better – not once in his short, tortured life – and wished he could paint the scene from his last dream.

He heard the front door slam open, and his father's footsteps pounding upstairs. He was calling Saito's name and crying out, joyfully, that his work was done, that PET and DA were complete, and they _did_ give Navis a real body, made them concrete, with no limits of sorts; made them as good as humans, _better_ than humans, capable to feel and do whatever humans could, and Saito had only one second to mourn the irony of fate, that he had to go just when Blues could finally come to him, and then his heart stopped beating, and wouldn't start anew.

* * * * *

**.**..

…

…

…

…

…everything…

…

…

…

…everything was…

…

…

…black…

…

…black and… soundless…

…and then… his body awoke to sensations, like a flower budding slowly in the morning light.

First came the steady warmth enveloping him; then he became aware of a gentle pressure skimming across his cheek, fingers brushing his eyelids, his lips – that parted into a sigh at the touch – and the line of his chin. There came a flash of silver beyond his lowered lashes, and then the barely-there weight of silk coiling against his collarbone, cool and gentle like lapping water.

Saito released a long breath, nuzzled in the hand cupping his face, a sleepy gesture, loving and endearing at once. His eyelids felt like lead, and when he commanded them up, his vision was blurry, out-of-focus like those cameras of old that took pictures upside down.

For a moment, all he saw was a thread of frosty silver hanging in front of a sea of red, and he caught the flash of something black but shiny like onyx. A warm breath was exhaled against the side of his face, and at its heels came a voice heavy with hope and relief, a voice he hadn't heard in too long, a voice that said one word, one simple word: "Saito," and suddenly his eyes were huge, and the colours had resolved themselves into Blues's shape, his armour, his visor, his hair, Blues, _his_ Blues, who was cradling Saito very gently against his chest, stroking his cheek like something precious.

Tremulously, Saito reached up, his throat too tight for him to say a word. His fingertips brushed across Blues's cheek, carefully; and when the Navi didn't disappear at the touch, they settled against the smooth curve with a sort of relieved reverence. Slowly, they traced the curve of Blues's mouth, trailed down his jaw and the side of his throat.

His skin was warm, unlike the cool silk of Saito's imagination; his lips smooth and soft, and his breath a caress of moist fire. His hair felt like water or silk, just like Saito had known it would. And when he slipped the helmet up and over Blues's head, a cascade of silver spilled over them, curtaining them.

Perfect eyes were raised to Saito's own, haunted but hope-filled, swirling like pools of heated mercury; and then Blues was leaning in until their foreheads were touching.A faint scent lingered about his skin: something like storm and sea and spices, which made him all the more solid, all the more _real_. Saito drank of it in deep gulps, like he though he never could, nose and mouth brushing against Blues's skin, eyelashes fluttering low as he let his fingers acquaint themselves with a face that he knew from his every dream.

This was madness, he knew. _Madness_. They were as banned from touching as moon and sun, their love as forbidden by the very laws of the universe. How could they be touching like this, breathing of each other, entwined like two halves of a whole?

A shaky sigh passed between their parted lips, set a vibration that coursed through both their bodies. Saito went still, arched taut against Blues for a long breathless moment, not daring to hope, not daring to _believe_.

And then he was surging, suddenly and with desperate elation, cupping the back of Blues's neck, finding the Navi's mouth with his own and immersing his tongue inside, urgently, knowing he had no time to waste, had no time _at all_, not with that disease of his.

Blues's arms tightened immediately around him, pressing their chests together as their kiss mounted, lengthened, deepened, something that was part dance and part fight, relieved and hungry and _intense_, that was the word: intense, like all things long-dreamed tend to be.

When they gasped and pulled apart, it was only to push their foreheads together, and Saito was laughing and crying at once, and there was a smile on Blues's face, and no visor to hide the gleam in his eyes.

"Buruusu… _Buruusu_!" he was touching the red Navi everywhere, his hands frantic and quick and needy as they clung to each other.

Blues soothed him with his lips, brushing them against the side of his temple, the wet arch of his cheekbone and the bridge of his nose, not daring to move his arms from around Saito as though the boy in his grasp would crumble or vanish if he did.

Saito drew back as much as he had to tilt his face into Blues's caress, and their lips met in a soft, lingering kiss, mouths open and totally still as they breathed each other's breath.

At last, Blues drew back once more, trailing eyes and fingers across Saito's face in pure wonder. The green of the boy's eyes was liquid with tears, his cheeks flushed, smiling lips moist and glossy pink. He fit into Blues's arms as though he'd been made to be there, cradled against his chest forever more.

Saito smiled up at Blues, feeling just as awed. He tilted head and shoulder together in that adorable way of his, brushing his cheek over the palm of Blues's hand.

"Am I warm this time?"

Blues smiled, nodded.

"And soft," he said huskily. "I knew you'd be."

"Buruusu…"

Saito trailed off, lunged again, initiating their third kiss, the most desperate one so far. He had no experience with lovers kisses, but he wouldn't waste a second with coyness or shy fumbling or any self-conscious worry, not when darkness might reclaim him at any moment.

His heart was bound to go mad with pleasure much too soon, leaping and lurching; his heart that had already stopped once too many, his heart that usually started galloping even _before_ Saito was consciously aware of Blues's presence, his heart that stood quiet and still and silent in his chest, his heart… his… _heart_?

Saito recoiled quickly, pressed a hand over his heart, gasping in surprise when he felt no beat, no pulse of sorts. With wide eyes he searched Blues's face, not scared as much as wondering.

Blues smiled at him, gently. Then took Saito's hand in his own and put it on the round ridge that now stood in the middle of the boy's chest.

Saito hadn't noticed it before; it was an almost exact replica of Blues's Navi Crest in shape and position, the only difference being the symbol inside: a schematic black arrow on a red field, instead than a Tao cut in two by a streak of lightning.

"Here," Blues offered. "Can you feel it?"

And indeed he could: a small, quivering pulse, almost a vibration, steady and gentle like the purring of electricity.

Saito looked down at himself, suddenly aware that he was clad in the blue and bluer garments from his dream, the same he wore in the paintings he used to make of himself and Blues when he still strong enough.

He surveyed their surroundings next; and decided that he might be in the place of his dreams.

It was daylight instead of night for once, and in the soft light he could see that there wasn't a nebulous void around him, but a definite, familiar space. The sky above them shifted colours like flowing water, and was sprinkled with a fine golden dust. Craggy formations reared up from all sides, their fantastic shapes reflecting the light in opalescent hues. The ground was a marvel of ice or glass: smooth and glossy, not cold, but not warm either.

"The… _Cyberworld_?" he breathed out. And when Blues nodded mutely, he asked: "Are we… is this a DA, Buruusu?"

Blues's smile turned rueful.

"No."

"Then how...?"

The red Navi briefly dipped his head; then he stood, tugging Saito with him by the hand.

"Come."

It took him but an exercise of will to open up a window above them, and they stood waiting for the call to be answered. When the signal started to clear Saito glanced briefly at Blues – eyes following the line of his profile, from the noble forehead to the supple mouth – then back to the window.

And the surprise almost took his breath away.

"…_Papa_?"

Yuuichiro looked worn out with lack of sleep, his hair tousled, a shadow of stubble on his chin. But when he heard Saito, a smile broke across his face, dazzling to look at.

"Ehy there, sleepyhead."

A crash and a cry followed his whispered statement, and then Netto was pushing his father aside, his face filling the window from corner to corner.

"He's awake?" Then, seeing Saito: "Rockman!! I knew you'd make it, I just _knew_ it! Something Papa invented could not _not_ work, but since it took you so long to wake up he started to lose hope, but I kept telling him not to, 'cuz his ideas always work, and you are a rock, and rocks can withstand anything and - ehy Blues! Didn't know you were so handsome under that thing."

Blues threw a glance at his discarded helmet, as though he hadn't realized it was missing until he saw it on the ground. Saito blinked, head reeling.

"Wait, _wait_. What happened?"

"You died." Enzan, ever the master of tact, slipping up behind Netto and pulling him back by the collar, so that something else was visible from the Cyberworld other than the giant close-up of his face. "And Hikari-Hakase brought you back."

"In… _in_ _the_ _Cyberworld_?"

"You were beyond the help of normal medical procedures," Enzan offered, in a tone that somehow made the impossible more than acceptable. "So other routes had to be tried."

Saito blinked, dumbfounded, then turned towards his father with something like understanding in his eyes.

"You applied a procedure inverse to that of the DA. Instead than bringing a Navi to the real world, you sent a human to the Cyberworld."

Yuuichiro acquiesced silently.

"So _this _is what you were working on the last months of my… – _those last months._" Saito amended, not wanting to breach the subject of his own demise. "Reversing the DA's function."

Yuuichiro licked his lips, hesitating a moment before responding.

"I've been working on this since your first major heart attack, Saito," he revealed. "Our check-ups were just an excuse for me to gather data about yourself." Taking off his glasses, Yuuichiro used thumb and forefinger to rub the bridge of his nose. "It took me more years than I thought possible, but I finally managed to graft your DNA and soul to a digital body. Just in time," he added, pushing his glasses back into place. "That was the only way I could think of not to lose you to death. Saito, I… I hope you can forgive me, but… you're a Navi, now."

"…a _Navi_…" Saito looked down at his hands in wonder. "All along you were looking for a way to send _me_ here…" He raised his eyes to meet his father's gaze, smiling tremulously. "I thought you were striving to finish the DA before I was gone, so that Blues could hold me at least _once_…"

_"…so that Blues could hold you?"_ Netto echoed in the background, only to be silenced by Enzan.

"The DA was a work of cowardice on my behalf," Yuuichiro corrected gently. "I'm not strong enough to let my child go. Not _yet_. With the DA I wanted to bring _you_ back to the real world to _us_, however shortly. I hoped that allowing us some additional time together would ease your passing. But," he smiled again, and his eyes regained that spark of life that had gotten lost since Saito's demise. "It looks like Blues is incentive enough for you to embrace this change."

Netto wrestled out of Enzan's clutches long enough pipe a small, confused: "_incentive_?", before Enzan caught him and clamped a hand against his mouth a second time.

Saito was surprised he could still blush in this new form of his. Actually, the digital body seemed even more inclined to flush than his flesh-and-bone one had been. Gotta love technology.

"Is that why you weren't against us?" he asked.

"…._us?_" queried Netto, from beneath Enzan's fingers.

Yuuichiro gave a nod.

"Mostly, yes. I knew you'd need someone to guide you through your new life. And who better than a boyfriend for the task?"

Saito blushed darker. He chanced a glance at Blues out of the corner of his eye, and was relieved to see that his only reaction to the 'b' word had been to smile. Netto's own reaction was a bit more theatrical: he went still in Enzan's clutches, mouth dropping open, eyes growing to thrice their normal size.

Enzan rolled his eyes.

"Well, this is warm and fuzzy and all, but can we move onto something more _practical_? We should run a quick diagnostic of Rock's systems, to make sure everything's working fine."

Netto blinked out of his daze, and wormed free of his captor.

"Enzan was worried," he piped in helpfully. "Not that he looks like it. But that Blue PET he sent me it's meant to be your new home, Rock-nii. It works like a remote, so wherever we are we can create a small DA and have you come out in real world."

"_Oh_?" Saito turned towards Enzan, and there went the heartthrob smile again.

"Hey," Enzan shrugged, obviously unaffected. "You've told me many times I could try focusing on those close to me in-between a world-saving mission and the other. I just took your advice, nothing more."

He flicked his hair out of his forehead, the picture of sheer coolness incarnate. Beside him, Netto released a bubble of delighter laughter.

"Yeah, _right_. Says the one who threw the mother of all prissy fits and ditched I dunno how many meetings to come watch over Rock-nii with Blues."

Enzan glared at him.

"…'prissy fit'? Why, thank you Netto. That's going to make wonders for my image."

"Anytime." He turned towards Saito with an air of conspiracy about him. "He worked real hard to help Papa wake you up. I think he felt pretty guilty, or something."

Saito attempted a smile, but shrank a little in himself as his mind went back to why Enzan might have felt guilty. Sensing his discomfort, Blues gave his hand a squeeze, tugging him closer to his side.

Enzan's eyes flickered over them, then turned resolutely away.

"Before you say anything, I must warn you that Blues is _mine_ during working hours: Net-Saviour duties have top priority over anything else. Alternate weekends are also not-negotiable," he warned, in what had to be the most oddly phrased blessing known to mankind (but still managed to match Enzan's style perfectly).

"And now that the pleasantries are over with, let's run some tests on your mainframe. It'd be a shame to lose you to a bug, after all that hard work." He grabbed Netto in the same fashion Blues had grabbed Saito, and hauled him out of sight.

Yuuichiro followed them; as he went, he trailed a gentle finger down his laptop monitor, knowing that Saito couldn't feel the pressure against the curve of his cheek, but hoping he'd understand.

Saito watched them go, his family behind the looking glass, touching his cheek as though wanting to impress his father's caress there. Realization settled in the pit of his stomach, not a weight but a warmness, that spread slowly through his body. On his face, joy and love and grief mingled in equal amounts.

Slave to fear and pain since the tender days of his babyhood, Saito Hikari had finally succumbed to the claim that Death had over him. He had been stripped of his humanity as well as his life, and was no more. But a blue Navi had come in his place, a Navi who'd been granted his dream and his love, and an endless youth to take pleasure in both.

Saito – no, it was _Rockman_ now, wasn't it? – Rockman turned, regarding Blues's eyes for a long moment. Carefully, he transferred his fingers from his cheek to Blues's own, in a gesture that had more of the rite, and was as scared as it was tender.

"You're here…" he whispered breathily.

Blues smiled down at him, manoeuvred them so that he could slip an arm around Rock's waist and draw him close without releasing his hand.

"I am."

"I'm not dreaming?"

"Not unless we both are."

"We're together."

He stroked Blues's mouth with his thumb, shuddering when it was kissed gently.

"Yes."

"…and… and I'm not…"

"… ever going to leave again," Blues told him as he faltered. "Or to hurt again."

Rock took a moment to swallow the sudden lump of emotion in his throat.

"And… I'm yours?" he asked hopefully.

Mercury eyes looked down at him, _in_ him, as they swept away his fears.

"For as long as you want me."

* * * * *

_A PET screen:_

_**T**__wo figures entwined together, dark against the blinding blue light, like characters from a shadow play. _

_Shimmering data falling across the screen, brushing their cheeks, like a summer shower._

_The quiet, careful touches of lips and hands, like the uncovering of a secret, like a rite._

_The soft sighing sound of fluttering lashes and breathy kisses, whispered laughter and endearments._

_The flash of a smile, that finds its twin and mirror in the opposite shape._

_A happy ending._

**~*~****おわり****~*~**

* * *

_And so… the tale of Saito and Blues has come to its end. It saddens me to let them go, because I've grown very, very fond of them. This ficverse is among my personal favourites, and it provided me many a plot-bunny: some are funny (like the scene mentioned where Netto is teased about his crush on Enzan), some are tender, some are angsty, some are… rather _naughty_, to be honest. Because you have to remember: Saito is a teen, and as such he is bound to have _fantasies_. (and act upon them?)_

_I might be thinking too far ahead of myself here, but… I must confess I have half an idea for a sequel. A short story, dealing with a peculiar trouble that brews in their Paradise… and that hopefully contemplates a medium-high rated, limey if not lemony, scene._

_Am I thinking too far ahead? Or would anyone else be interested?_


End file.
